End of Law School Celebration Nails!

I always thought I'd be full of energy and excitement and sprint to the finish line. But what really happened was that I dragged myself to, and stumbled across the line. My last exam ever (fingers crossed) was an overnight take home exam. It was released Monday at 9am and due to next day at midday. It was for IP, with questions about Hello Kitty copyright, Kiss songs and stupid exercise equipment patents. Let's just say it was not a rock and roll all night kind of exam. 

I was determined to do something on Tuesday to mark to end of it. I had a glass of wine, and made my nails sparkly. I may feel flat, but at least my nails was bright.

Below I used my pink and gold Maybelline sequins polishes. The yellow is a new glow-in-the-dark polish from the Born Pretty Store. The insta-dry top coat caused some shrinkage. Very annoying. 

To go Graduation Day or not to go?

I am now only two exams away from finishing my JD degree! The three years have been crazy, as you can tell if you consider the fact that I put together a blog about my journey and then almost never posted!

So the question now is whether to attend the actual graduation ceremony. I am just so disinterested in the idea. I don't see how sitting through one is any better than having the piece of paper in my hand without all that. The biggest one is, for my parents, but they've not shown much interest in it and my Mum did not sound at all upset when I said I didn't want to go.

A metaphor for me: a duck looking into the big, dark lake.

When I think about it, the really proud moment isn't this day, but the one where I am admitted to practice. The day where I put on a black robe and a silly wig at the Supreme Court, that's the one when I will feel like I've achieved something and reached a goal to be proud of.

So unless my parents say something or someone else comes up with a compelling personal reason to attend, I cannot summon any desire to attend the graduation ceremony. It's not that I don't care, but it's the paper I care about. I cared enough about having my full name appear on it that I went to the student centre yesterday, just to show my passport and submit my paperwork, in order to add my middle name to my enrolment details.

Struggle to the finish line

I have touched on this earlier — how difficult these final few steps are. I am so close to finishing, and I would like to finish on a positive note, but at the same time I am completely demotivated.

I have a 6000 words essay due on the 30th September. Normally, by this time I would have a mostly complete, working draft. At the moment I am still just trawling through material, trying to get my head around some very new areas of law. I have no idea how I am going to write 6000 words and I'm only slowly pulling my head back out of the sand...

All journeys begin with the first step, all essays start with the first line... so tonight I have finally managed to write an introduction. Hopefully once I have made an attempt at articulating my question, I can start filling in with some substance.

The only bright note is that I spoke to two other classmates, and they seem to be stuck too. Misery loves a crowd? It just reassures me to know that I am not the only one struggling to put something together.

Reflections after my first year of law

So, I have survived my first year of law school. It is hard to describe how I feel. Elated and excited, but at the same time disappointed and stressed. It's that realisation that no matter how much harder or more dedicated I am, I will not transform from an academically good student into an academically brilliant student.

But despite that, I am slowly make new friends, I have developed contacts with many people and have been given a chance to learn so much more about the world I look in. I know what thing I will not be saying at the end of this journey, is that I wished I tried more things. It may be that I would say, I wish I hadn't take on so much on board. It's been a hard balancing act, and I having taken further responsibilities on board for next year, I know it's going to be even tougher and an even greater emotional roller-coaster.

But that's in the future. For now, I am travelling, and trying to not think about the amount of debt I am collecting in order to do so. I do feel this is the right thing. Next year will be the year for placements and clerkships, and the year after that, hopefully finding work. This is the summer break in which to travel.

Not solely travelling. I am doing a few small volunteering things. I have signed up with a group called Un techo para mi pais, or in english, a roof for my country. Tomorrow night I will go away with them to build emergency shelter somewhere in Lima, in a district called Villa Maria Del Trifuno. I have absolutely no idea what to expect, save for some youtube videos showing how the houses are built and some clips of previous projects. They've recruited 300 volunteers, so it's huge. Things to bring includes sleeping bag and hat.... both which I didn't pack. Buying a cap is fine, so I just need to find a sleeping bag within the next 20 odd hours.

This trip is important in two ways which are contradictory. There's the selfish CV padding, something that I can talk about and distinguish myself. The second may be more important. It's to remind myself of why I decided to go and study law. It is so easy to get caught up in the commercial aspects of law, the more superficial competition for the attention of the big law firms. I am no longer dismissive of them, as I was when I started. But at the same time, I fear becoming the type of lawyer that I said I will not be. I do not want my ambition and desire to succeed obscure the fact that I am studying law because I want my life to be defined by positive changes I make in the lives of others. 

A moment to pause

Life has been pretty crazy since Uni started. With a timetable that's all over the place and a full day's work on Monday, I've found that the only way to get anything done during the week is to schedule it during the 3 hour breaks I have between classes. So it's dashes off to the city for gym or back home for dentist appointments. I have had to really work at getting my readings done before class. In fact, I didn't do such a great job for the first few days, only on for Friday's class did I manage to get all the prescribed readings done.

In between all this, I was also trying to do extra Body Attack work for the AIM module today. So my whole weekend has been smashing my body, learning the steps and then today, having someone drill me on technique and posture and so forth.

Right now I feel like a wreck, all I can think about is getting a massage. I don't feel my current level of activities is sustainable. I am going to have to work on doing more uni work and less of these random commitments. I do anticipate it settling down a little, but it's going to have to happen soon, or I will burn out. I was initially annoyed that next Monday is a public holiday, as it meant I lose a day of work. But upon reflection, that extra day off would be good for me to catch my breath.  

Reflections on being back at Uni

It's been a while since I've blogged. In that time I finished up at work, went on a holiday that ended with a revolution in the country and completed my summer intensive subject. It was both stimulating and boring, exciting and dull. And it was most definitely an intensive period, with more reading than I've ever had to do for any course.

I was so nervous during the self-introduction on the first day and unexpectedly excited about getting my first assignment back. I had realised that it was the first piece of anything that had been marked for years.

So that was my first 2 weeks, I am now on my week off. First chance I've really had to chance to catch my breath, not that I am. All the errands and various uni-related stuff are getting marked off. I am still motivated, although I am getting a tad concerned about the material I am supposed to have read before the first class next week. But I will not think about that now.

First, another day of tasks completion, and then, a lovely staycation in the city at a lovely 5-star hotel. Can't wait!